She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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