Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
