this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
