he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
