Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
