there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
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