I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
