Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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