I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You made out with two different species that night
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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