the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
