WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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