Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
