Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
