He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
