I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
