Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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