11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
