At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
