I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
