She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
