the condom got lost in my hair
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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