Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
