**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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