D3 body, D1 cock
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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