guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sorry my hands just texted you
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
