oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
