when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
