I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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