Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
