i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he shaved USA in his pubs
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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