his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
