I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
