your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
