That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
