it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
