I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
