did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
