just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Randomize
