There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
