maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
