found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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