that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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