Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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