Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
