first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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