On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
