Say something about gay babies.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
