the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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