Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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