I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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