yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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