I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
